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Therapist called it surrender. 3/25/17

Adult Conversation

That's exactly what I feel like I've been missing. These days I only talk to and about Rae (11) and Zae (9). And, when talking to them, I have to translate every other word.

"What does anticipate, grudge and coincidence mean?" - Zae.


The moment I get a morsel of conversation, it's interrupted because I have to go. "Girl, I met this fine a** dude. We've been talking a few months now. He has a great career, no kids and went to an HBCU." Oh yeah? That's exciting. I'm sorry I have to go. I'm so happy for you tho, boo boo.

"Stop all that screaming in the bathroom." *sigh*

Umm yes, I went to see a therapist. We met years ago as I prepared to publish Dreams Bigger Than Texas. Not to mention the weigh and the reality of what hit me this year, it was time!

Felt good having an uninterrupted decompression session with an adult. A listening adult! With tears in her eyes, she sat across from me blown away and empathizing with all I had to share.

"Please give yourself a little grace. You run 100 mph while trying to carry everything and everyone. You are doing incredibly well Rahkal. It's also interesting how well you jumped right into this given the circumstances. Some of the stuff you're implementing, many parents wouldn't know to do.

Look at this as an opportunity to feel, grow (with them) and to flow," she calmly surveyed.

How do you feel about everything?

Honestly, I feel like whatever. Not a negative whatever but like an I give whatever, whatever will be, will be, whatever.

I don't think I have a say it seems. I mean I had ideas for this year but the way my life is set up right now... my hands are up. I'll just flow after all.

Well, it sounds like you've surrendered, Rahkal. Maybe this is the exact space God wants you in? Maybe he wanted you to surrender all along.


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