Partially awake, I eased out of bed and tiptoed to the restroom after catching a quick glimpse at the clock. *Sigh* it's 7:30; I mumbled and slowly turned the knob to the bathroom, trying my best not to wake my husband.
The cold toilet seat, my partially processed emotions, and a racing mind are what started to wake me. No, we're not doing this! Lord, thank you for another day. God, you're so merciful, I blurted out internally. I intended to quickly override the LOUD noise of my to-do list and every other "urgent" thing that my mind started attacking me with.
I try my best NOT to go down the rabbit hole of the day's needs during morning pee breaks and certainly not before spending time with God. It just robs my day. And, the moment I begin to process my emotions and EVERYTHING I have to do for the day, the more I'm inclined to grab my phone.
Once those emails and calendars are checked, there goes any extra sleep, morning time with God (FIRST), and voila, the anxiety for the day kicks in, and I'm off to the races.
I learned years ago NOT to scroll through social media first. Social media in the morning is a trap, a setup, and an unpredictable emotional roller-coaster of INSTABILITY.
Sis, you really can't afford to start your day scrolling. Just don't. Please.
I redirected my emotions and thoughts this particular morning before crawling back in bed a bit discouraged. I questioned everything. God, where are you? I'm so tired of grinding and not seeing fruit. I work so freaking hard!
It was too late; I let the day take off before getting centered. At that moment, It felt like it would be one of THOSE days.
Because I felt discouraged, I shifted my exhaustion and weariness to gratitude. Be thankful, just thank Him for another day, I thought. And as soon as I thanked him, discouragement turned into disappointment. And, my disappointment made me even more discouraged. Ain't that something? What the heck is going on, I thought.
As crazy as it sounds, I was disappointed that I had to exercise gratitude in the first place. I aimed to turn my day around by being thankful but felt a way because I needed to turn my day around.
Why aren't you further along in your faith and ability to wait on God? Girl, you keep having these breakdown "are we there yet moments" while God's driving. Shut it up; he's tired of your whining. Aren't you suppose to trust him? It was too much.
Silent, I lay there accepting the assault before reaching for my bible app, saying another prayer, and shutting my eyes again. I was doing the right thing by changing the negative channel in my mind vs. sitting in the day's anxiety. It was a double attack. Talk about power struggles and warfare.
Ladies, have you ever had mornings like this? Where you're fighting to be in a positive head and heart space before the day even begins? Have your "problems and needs" ever hijacked your peace?
Sis, you're not crazy or alone. You were under attack. It's a strategy that the enemy uses to throw off your mood, energy, and expectations. He aims to blind us from how God is moving in our lives and all the beautiful things that the day could bring. Think about it; the fact that you woke up in the first place is a reminder that you still have purpose and a chance to accomplish what He's giving you to do.
According to Ephesians 6:12, we don't wrestle with flesh and blood, but against principalities, powers, and against spiritual wickedness in high places.
Basically, this means our fights (including fights with our emotions) are against spirits, falsehoods, and evil. The devil fights real dirty, and because we can't always see him, it's easy to subscribe to the deception of discouragement. Mind games. It's easy to think it's you.
What better way to deceive us than to attack our emotions (early in the morning). Let's face it, when we're down, discouraged, or feeling depressed, we're not ourselves or present in life. Our guards are down. Don't get me wrong, the feelings we feel are REAL, but they don't define us. Furthermore, our emotions are intended to be gauges, not guides. We can't let them dictate or drive our entire day.
I'll leave you with this. There is no such thing as a bad day. Every day that the Lord allows you to see is actually pretty good. Here's some perspective: someone your exact age didn't wake up to her babies, husband, or family, but YOU did. There can be bad moments in a day, but if you can gain ground and own those moments before you let them take over, you've won half the battle.
And, if you can set the tone for your day EARLY, you can rule that day.
2 Corinthians 10:5 tells us we can demolish arguments and every claim (negative thought and anxiety) that sets itself up against the knowledge of God. Tell Satan to Knuck if you Buck. He ain't running nothing!
The scripture also tells us we can take captive every thought to make it obedient to Christ. Meaning... when anxiety, finances, those massive to-do lists, and everything "we don't have" pops up, take control and override all those lies and emotional attacks with God's truth.
What is God's truth? He's protecting, guiding, and loving on you. He calls you victorious, not to worry, and that he's working everything out for you even when you don't see it, or it feels overwhelming. Keep reminding yourself of his truth. You are in control of your emotions, not the other way around.
You got this, sis!
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See you soon.